Winter Wisdom

Winter Wisdom

Wisdom comes with winters.                                                               

Oscar Wilde

When I first got this quote from a friend I struck me because of its beauty, but then I started pondering it and I feel he is right, Mr. Wilde. Wisdom does come with winters. 

Winter is a time when my circles get smaller: because of the cold and dark I feel less inclined to spend time outside and a certain natural rhythm, like an animal going into hibernation, makes me search less for others’ company. I spend more time on my own, taking more time for introspection and reflection. I read more and meditate more. I let life sink in.

And in spring, I emerge with another depth and - hopefully -  a little more wisdom ;-)

The Happiness Network will take a holiday break and be back on January 8th, 2018. I grab the occasion to thank you for this year, and to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year!

Meditation Instruction

AA wrote: Ich liebe Pema Chödrön. Sie ist so menschlich. 

Meditation Instruction

Be fully present.
Feel your heart.
And engage in the next moment without an agenda.                                                

Pema Chödrön: Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change

Perhaps I have recommended her books before, but it deserves to be repeated: if you are interested in (Buddhist) meditation, Pema Chödrön is your woman. Her writing style is very down to earth and she explains meditation in a way that everybody can access.

Look at the example above: could the instruction be simpler? Just stop, breathe and be present, then “feel your heart and engage in the next moment without an agenda”. Basically it’s a fresh start – you make a pause, relax, drop whatever was roaming around in your head, and continue with a blank mind.

I love this instruction not only because it’s so simple, but also because it implies that meditation is not just something you do sitting cross-legged on a cushion twenty minutes every morning. It’s like a general way of life: you don’t just rush about your days in an everlasting turmoil of things to do and figure out - instead you train in stopping every now and coming back to yourself. You make it a habit to centre yourself in the here and now, feel your physical being – and continue afresh.

Not Knowing What Next

AA wrote: Fits to my situation like a glove :) Tack tack 💚

Not Knowing What Next 

Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how. The moment you know how, you begin to die a little. The artist never entirely knows. We guess. We may be wrong, but we take leap after leap on the dark

                                                                                      Agnes de Mille

Over and over again I am confronted with how the so-called securities I hold limit my life. I try to keep Socrates’ adage “The only thing I know is that I know nothing” in mind, but far too often old habits kick in and bring me back to my prejudices (positive or negative) about this or that, about him or her.

Today’s quote is meant as a reminder to step out into the groundlessness of not knowing and trying to see the world with fresh eyes. Who wants to “die a little” within a circle of rigidly held views…?

As you step out in your day, try to open your eyes and mind to what is next, without your habitual views and opinions. Life will reward you by showing you its true face - as well as your own.

Celebrate Life

AA wrote: Så fint! :) Tack!

Celebrate Life

Life is a miracle and you should celebrate it all the time.

                                           Jostein Gaardner: The Orange Girl

From time to time, it is good to be reminded about what a miracle life is. Far too easily we slid into living carelessly, taking our existence on our beautiful Earth for granted.

Take five minutes every morning (while you’re enjoying your breakfast?) to thank the universe for your life and all the miracles in it. Give thanks for your healthy body, your wonderful family and friends, the job you have, and your cosy home - or whatever else that comes to mind. Think about how lucky you are to have all these miracles in your life, and how grateful you are for them. We all know that everything can change in a second, but when that second comes at least we have thoroughly appreciated what life has offered to us.

It’s a miracle that we are alive in the first place! It’s a miracle that we live and breathe on this magnificent green planet, rotating in a limitless universe. It’s a miracle that we can move about and enjoy its ever-changing beauty and share our experience with other beings. 

Celebrate life this week! Take a meditative walk and enjoy the autumn colours and the crisp air. Share a delicious cake from the local bakery with your colleagues just because you are such a good team. Surprise your partner or a close friend with flowers or chocolate to show how much you appreciate him or her.

Try to look at life and all its miracles with fresh eyes and celebrate the fact that you can see, feel, hear, taste, and touch - and that you have a mind that can decide to enjoy this one life to the fullest.

Rest When You Are Tired

AA said: Det är verkligen en passande text för mig just nu då jag håller på att göra mig av med mina ägodelar
BB said: Weise Worte! Es klingt so einfach und ist so schwer umzusetzen. Aber es ist gut, erinnert zu werden. Danke, Sabina.
CC said: What a nice and meaningful reminder 💚🙏🏻
DD said: Detta mail kom precis när jag behövde det! 

Rest When You Are Tired

Work when there is work to do. Rest when you are tired. One thing done in peace will most likely be better than ten things done in panic… I am not a hero if I deny rest; I am only tired.

                                    Susan McHenry

We often plan to fulfil a task at a given moment, without listening to our body if it says “enough”. Perhaps we want to thoroughly clean the house just before guests arrive, or quickly turn over the soil in the veggie garden on a Saturday morning before leaving with the family for the sea.

We decide to do something in a certain period of time and beware whoever or whatever comes in our way! In such moments we act like robots, and after the job is done it’s as if our batteries were taken out - we simply collapse.  

No, we’re not heroes because we work like maniacs. We’re just tired. Most likely we have not enjoyed our work and perhaps we can’t enjoy anything else that day: neither the visit of our friends, nor the outing to the coast.

Listen to your body. Do your work without stress, peacefully and in a “normal” rhythm. Do it as well as you can, with all your attention. Enjoy the work you have to do – and rest when your body tells you to.

Beholding Others

AA wrote: Das erinnert mich an Virginia Satir, deren Satz mich seinerzeit sehr berührt hat, auch wenn er eine etwas andere Perspektive einnimmt:

"Ich glaube daran, dass das größte Geschenk, das ich von jemandem empfangen kann, ist, gesehen, gehört, verstanden und berührt zu werden. Das größte Geschenk, das ich geben kann, ist, den anderen zu sehen, zu hören, zu verstehen und zu berühren. Wenn dies geschieht, entsteht Kontakt"

BB wrote: What a beautiful quotation!

Beholding Others

 Once for each thing. Just once; no more.
And we, too, just once. And never again.
But to have been this once, completely,
even if only once: to have been
at one with the earth,
seems beyond undoing.*

                        Rainer Maria Rilke 

Here I just copy Mark Nepo’s beautiful comment from his Book of Awakening: 

“Ever since my cancer experience, I enter every meeting with another being saying to myself, “If I only have this time on Earth with this person, if I may never see them again, what is it I want or need to ask, to now? What is it I want or need to say?”

I find I come upon others now as if I have just crossed a desert and each of them is an oasis. The truth is that each living spirit we encounter is a depth to gently swim in, a miracle that can quench our thirst. Honouring others in this way has opened me to wisdoms that would otherwise run silent beneath my time on Earth.”

*Ein Mal jedes, nur ein Mal. Ein Mal und nicht mehr
Und wir auch ein Mal. Nie wieder.
Aber dieses ein Mal gewesen zu sein,
wenn auch nur ein Mal:
irdisch gewesen zu sein,
scheint nicht widerrufbar.

The New and Unexpected

AA wrote: Love this 💚Especially now!

BB wrote: Detta är jag! Eller rättare sagt så som jag tycker om att vara. Under arbetslivet blev det inte riktigt så men NU! Idag tog vi en lång promenad efter frukost – och jag såg på världen som om den var ny. Underbart. Tack för dina visa ord!

CC wrote: Schön, ich denke oft, die beste Lösung in Beziehung ist, das Unerwartete zu tun. Das habe ich auch oft in der Kindererziehung angewandt. In der Körpersprache des anderen sieht man häufig, was der andere erwartet, und dann das Unerwartete zu tun, löst Spannungen auf. Wenn das gelingt, ist das ein Glücksgefühl. Es geht mit Veränderung einher, und das ist das, was Menschen am schwersten fällt, mich eingeschlossen. 

The New and Unexpected

You are the laboratory
and every day is an experiment.
Go and find what is new
and unexpected.
            Joel Elkes

Once again I am returning to our old friend, the “automatic pilot” ;-) Often, we put him on in the morning, and turn him off when we go to bed. By that we think we save trouble and time and in a certain way we might. But, alas, at the same time we cut us off from the magic and enchantment of seeing and living the moments of our lives with fresh eyes.

It is about being open or closed to Life. When you go out into your day with the feeling that it’s an experiment, with your eyes and soul open to the surprises it may bring, rest assured you WILL be surprised. Isn’t it just magic that you never know how your day will unfold? You never know the amazing people you will meet, the startling feelings you will feel or the beauty you will suddenly discover in a small detail next to your path.

Break a habit today! Instead of bringing your lunchbox, go to the canteen with your colleagues (or vice versa) - and go for a walk after your meal. Instead of mailing your question to a colleague, pick up the phone, or even better: go and see her. Instead of waiting for your partner to prepare dinner, surprise him or her by choosing something that appeals to you in the supermarket and create a surprise dinner.

Go out into your day and find (or create) what is new and unexpected. You won’t regret it!

Distraction

AA wrote: Das spricht mir so aus dem Herzen. Ich fühle mich auch als Opfer des Cell phones. Manchmal sehne ich mich schon nach der Vor-Smartphone-Zeit zurück.

BB wrote: Jag håller med dig! Telefonen är bra men inte varje vaken sekund på dygnet.

CC wrote: Sannerligen en fara! Man lägger med visshet för mycket tid uppkopplad...

DD wrote: Tänkvärda reflektioner i en tid då allt fler barn sover med mobilen vid huvudkudden. Vi lever inte var vi befinner oss utan i etern.

Distraction

Distraction drugs us into forgetfulness. 

                                           Stephen Bachelor: Buddhism Without Beliefs

In our western society we are constantly surrounded by distractions; it almost seems we are purposely kept off from living fully. I don’t deny that there are interesting programs on TV or that the cell phone is a rather useful device, and who am I to criticize video games or other virtual pleasures – I don’t even know how they work. What I feel, however, is that all these modern technology amusements really drug us into forgetfulness. They simulate life – they are not life. And they easily turn into addictions.

One day I realised I was getting too hooked to my cell phone and needed to limit its usage. When out in nature, I turn it on airplane mode (also to avoid the radiation), using it only as a safety device and camera. At home I’ve got a box where I put it out of my field of view, taking it out only at certain intervals to check for messages. 

It IS difficult not constantly to hover over the cell phone, also because it has become the “social life line” with my beloved ones far away, but I can see how unhealthy that is, from more than one point of view… And I definitely don’t want to be drugged into forgetfulness. 

Do you?

Who Do You Want To Be?

AA wrote: Beautiful, Sabina. Keep going!

Who Do You Want To Be?

You are who you choose to be.
                      Ted Hughes: The Iron Man

We all have our genetic codes and we are shaped by our environment. However, as humans we also have our free will; we can choose what to think, say, and do. We can choose who we want to be.

Who do you want to be? What do you want to spread in the world, what is your message? 

Do I want to be the über serious worker, devoting my life to my company? Do I want to live in sync with my dreams and innermost aspirations, with humor and lightheartedness? Do I want to spread impatience, stress and “I don’t have time” to my colleagues, family & friends and other people I meet during the day? Or do I want to spread joy of living, gratefulness, and “I’m there for you” to those I meet?

If you think about what kind of atmosphere you want to live in and how you want to be treated by others you already know what you want to put into the world and what your personal message is.

Who do you really want to be? What can you do today to come closer to your true self?

Thankfulness Meditation

 AA wrote: Då jag går in i ett projekt på jobbet så är även det en sorts meditation för mig. Sinnena skärps och det blir allt fokus på att lösa det uppkomna problemen. Inget för störa mig.
 BB wrote: Love it!

Thankfulness Meditation

This is simply a copy of one of the wonderful meditations from Mark Nepo’s “The Book of Awakening”,  with the hope that it will colour your week with gratefulness for simply being alive in this amazing world of ours. 

• ·       Close our eyes and breathe slowly.
• ·        Imagine that you have these delicate surfaces through which you feel wind and see light and sense the spirit of everything else that has lived forever. 
• ·        Imagine that once awake you walk in a world where small creatures fly about your heads and sing, where colourful, juicy things grow on trees, that you can eat what grows from dirt. Imagine that there is always water running nearby, that you can wash the tiredness from our face as often as you like. 
• ·        Imagine that once awake you live in a time where there are others you can talk to about this miracle of being alive, others you can laugh with and cry with, others that you can love. 
• ·        Imagine you can open your eyes and dance in a world where water can fall from the sky, that you can open your throat and song can come from it, that you can find the sun and let it warm the flower of you into being. 
• ·        Now open your eyes and receive that it is all true, it is all here, it is all now…

Take Care of Yourself

AA wrote: Love your email contemplations. I printed this one so I could reread for inspiration.

Take Care of Yourself

Today, make a list of all the things you would do if you started to really take care of yourself.                                                                             Daphne Rose Kingma: A Garland of Love

Are you taking good care of yourself? 

Our health is our capital, and I find it crucial to nourish myself regularly with high quality, fresh, homemade food, to get enough exercise and fresh air, to take the time to do what I love, and to care about my mind. You could say that for me it’s easy, but having a full time job is no excuse for neglecting your health.

Sit down with a pen and paper and think of how you would best would take care of yourself (for ideas, have a peek at my blog post “Your Health is Your Capital”). Make a list – and start to do one thing regularly right now. I wonder what it will be...?

Let the Dead Leaves Drop

AA said: Like like like💚
BB said: Tack för denna lilla betraktelse – det är en som tilltalar mig – den är lätt att förstå ;-)

Let the Dead Leaves Drop

Be like a tree and let the dead leaves drop.

                                             Rumi

After the intensely active summer months, autumn calls for calm and introspection. Looking out of my window I see the birch leaves fall. A certain melancholy touches me, but then I remember Rumi’s words: be like a tree and let the dead leaves drop. It is good to be reminded of how important it is to let go of what is dead in our lives.

Nature is a mirror of human existence (or the other way round) and now is the time to let go of what we do not need anymore. Everything from clothes we have stopped wearing and books we will not re-read to habits that no longer serve us, or values that no longer reflect our true selves - we need to let it all go.

If you look at the tree that is your life, what dead leaves should you let go of in order to make space for fresh ones?

Do Not Let Sorrow Forget its Errand

AA wrote: Tellement vrai Sabina, merci de nous le rappeler !

Do Not Let Sorrow Forget its Errand

Every deep sorrow is the result of a lost joy. Do not let sorrow forget its errand. Sorrow is the greatest glory that joy can get.*

                                                                 Harry Martinsson

When we feel sad because of a lost love or cry because we miss somebody who has passed away, we should keep Martinsson’s words in mind. Aren’t we sad now, because we once were happy? Most often we are, in fact, crying over a lost happiness.

We know that nothing lasts forever, that every living thing must die. Instead of crying because we lost somebody, we should thank life that we once had the immense chance to share wonderful moments with him or her.  We should celebrate the wonders of love, friendship and care that we have been lucky enough to experience, knowing that we are sad now because we once were very happy.

 *Varje djup sort har förlorad glädje till föremål. Låt inte sorgen glömma sitt ärende. Sorgen är den djupaste ära som glädjen kan få.