What Should I Do?

What Should I Do?

What am I here for? Am I living in such a way, that I can die without regrets? How much of what I do is compromise? Do I keep postponing what I “really” want to do until conditions are more favourable?

Asking such questions interrupts indulgence in the comforts of routine and shatters illusions about a cherished sense of self-importance. It forces me to seek again the impulse that moves me from the depths, and to turn aside from the shallows of habitual patterns. It requires that I examine my attachments to physical health, financial independence, loving friends. For they are easily lost; I cannot ultimately rely on them. Is there anything I can depend upon?

It might be that all I can trust in is my integrity to keep asking such questions as: Since death alone is certain and the time of death uncertain, what should I do? And then, to act on them.                                         

Stephen Bachelor: Buddhism Without Beliefs

These questions have been my guiding stars ever since I read Bachelor’s book, and they keep on being it. 

My overall answer is: Choosing the life I want to live (again and again),  Living it with as much awareness as possible,  Not postponing things that are important, Accepting whatever comes my way, and - of course - Enjoying life as much as I can, under the given circumstances :-)

The Servants of Having

AA wrote: Mycket sanna ord...

BB wrote: So true!

The Servants of Having

The more we allow ourselves to be the servants of having, the more we shall let ourselves fall prey to the gnawing anxiety which having involves.

                                                                                  Gabriel Marcel

Our society is built up around the gospel of consumption, and it is not an easy one to escape from. We work like madmen (and -women) to have a big enough income to afford at least one car per family, one house, one long trip abroad per year, to buy fashionable clothes and the latest Apple devices for ourselves and our children (however small). When we have so much and we still want more, we have become the servants of having.

What is the meaning of filling our homes with zillions of objects, which in the end we don’t even know how to use or where to place? What is the meaning of filling our lives with innumerable exciting experiences, nearby or in faraway countries, if we cannot rest peacefully within ourselves?

With every thing (however small) that we buy and that we don’t really need we use up a part of the Earth’s resources for nothing, and in the end all these unnecessary objects become a burden. If we want to be truly “ecological” and make the smallest possible footprint on our Earth, we have to drastically cut down on our consumption. 

In the end it is not what we have that defines us, it is what we are. 

Say Thank You

AA wrote: Very nice! Thank you for the difference you make in my life with your kindness and loving example. Extra big hug!!

Say Thank You

Saying thank you creates love. It acknowledges that someone has loved you, that from the bounty of her spirit she has given something you need, that he has honoured you with his clear perception of you.

                                                  Daphne Rose Kingma: A Garland of Love

We take too much for granted. All the little things people do for us, all the signs of attention and care from our family, friends and colleagues - sometimes we don’t even say Thank You.

It is so important to show people that you appreciate their little or big acts of love and care. Not only does the fact that you see and acknowledge what they do for you make the “givers” happy, but by pausing and really feeling grateful for what is given to you, you significantly increase your own happiness level too.

That others love and care for us, that they want to make our lives easier or just give our days a silver lining is one of the most wonderful things in life. Let’s never forget to say Thank You for whatever is given to us. 

Feel Your Feelings

AA wrote: So true! Wow, nice feature this one ! Thanks for sharing.

Feel Your Feelings

Though we fear it, feeling our feelings is the only clear and direct way to free our hearts of pain.

Mark Nepo: The Book of Awakening

We go through our days feeling millions of feelings. The question is: do we really feel them, or do we ward them off because they’re too uncomfortable or outright scary? 

Yes, that is a rhetorical question: I know that I myself ward off too many of them. I don’t want all those feelings to interfere with my plans and my life, or to disturb my inner peace. Unfortunately, thereby I block out parts of life, for what is life if not a current of feelings…?

Here is a meditation, proposed in the book quoted above, that I do regularly and that I find very helpful. I love the notion of being a shore, against which my feelings wash as waves, again and again and again… As the ever returning waves, they change the outline of the shore, but the shore always stays - the shore. 

Perhaps you want to try it, too?

• Meditate on the way you might avoid your feelings

• In your silence, stop holding them off with words or reasons or busyness

• Simply be a shore and let your feelings wash against you like waves.