Acknowledge, Pause, Relax

Acknowledge, Pause, Relax 

• Acknowledge that you’re hooked (with humour, if possible)
• Pause, take three conscious breaths, and lean in to the energy (with kindness, if possible)
• Relax, and move on.

Pema Chödrön : Taking the Leap

How often, during one single day, do you get hooked…? You know, that feeling when you tense up because you hear, see, or otherwise experience something that disturbs your circles. Suddenly you’re hooked, and a whole series of negative thoughts kick in.

If you are able to break that chain of negativity, you get off the hook. If not, who knows what regrettable thoughts or actions may be the result. Breaking the chain of negativity is easy, but it needs some practice.

This practice is called “stopping”, and I do it as often as it comes to my mind during the day. That way, once I’m actually hooked, chances are bigger that I remember it.

Pema Chödrön’s teaching is very simple. The main thing is to notice that you’re hooked. That is the Acknowledge part. Then, for just a moment or two, Pause and contact whatever you are feeling right now. Take three deep, conscious breaths. Finally you Relax, and move on.

Could it be this week’s challenge to practice stopping whenever you remember it (whatever you’re doing right then)…?

Create Space

AA said: Detta var så bra att jag inte hade ändrat ett ord i texten.
 
Create Space

We human beings need space to be happy. We practice stopping and calming in order to offer space to ourselves, inside and outside, and also to those we love.

Thich Nhat Hanh: Touching Peace

 In today’s society, there is not much space between us. We mainly live in cities, one apartment next to the other, we travel in crowded buses and trains, and our workplaces are often “open landscapes” with little personal space.

Many people compensate the lack of outer space by creating their own little bubble: they plug in their head phones, they talk to friends on the cell phone when in public places; their eyes (and minds) are turned inwards instead of outwards.

A much “healthier” way to create space is to practice stopping and calming. After making a conscious pause we pick up our activities again, a little bit slower. That way we create space between our thoughts and actions - and there suddenly seems to be more air around. When you slow down a bit, life seems less crammed and more open. Create space inside and the lack of space outside becomes less strenuous. 

Meditation

AA said: Oh ja! Es braucht Übung. Aber es lohnt sich!

Meditation

Meditation is to be aware of what is going on – in our body, in our feelings, in our mind, and in our world.

                                                 Thich Nhat Hanh: Being Peace

The word meditation might make you think of trying to sit still in a straining cross-legged position, trying to empty your mind. That might put you off because it seems so difficult.

I like Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh’s definition of meditation. Instead of struggling with unaccustomed positions you can concentrate on living a “meditative life”.

The core of a meditative life is training your mind in coming back to what’s at hand right now, right here. It takes some effort and perhaps you only succeed a few times per day, but every time you do it’s a personal victory.

Take a deep breath and come back to where you are right now. Then do it again, and over and over again.

Think First, Speak Second

AA said: C’est tellement juste pour moi, merci! 

Think First, Speak Second

If you propose to speak, always ask yourself: Is it true, is it necessary, is it kind?                    

Buddhist wisdom

There is too much thoughtless talking going on. We have the habit of simply bursting out whatever passes through our hyperactive minds. Often no real harm is done, but sometimes we say things that hurt others and we wish we had held our tongues.

At times I’m overly enthusiastic about something and speak at the pace of my thoughts, but often I use the Buddhist motto above as a helpful guideline:

Is it true? - or am I just repeating something I heard somewhere?

Is it necessary? – or am I just talking to keep silence at bay?

Is it kind? – or do my words contain unpleasant subtexts?

Grief

AA wrote: Oh Sabina, This is beautiful. You are deeply amazing 

BB wrote:Merci Sabina, ces rappels font toujours du bien. Les deuils ne sont pas forcément celui de personnes disparues dans mon cas, plutôt des énergies, des facultés que je n’ai plus. Et des êtres qui vivent toujours mais avec qui la relation s’est éteinte, est devenue silencieuse, en tout cas temporairement, pour une raison ou une autre. 

          CC wrote:mir geht es auch so. Mein Schwager ist gestorben und meine Tante.    Ich habe Schwierigkeiten, plötzliche Tode zu verstehen. Mein Schwager war erst 64.

DD wrote: Tack Sabina!!!!

Grief

Grief is seeing only what has been taken away from you. The celebration of a life is recognizing all that we were blessed with, and feeling so very grateful.                                                                 

Jack Kornfield

Such a strange period lately, with many sudden departures… Close family members, friends and acquaintances have passed away, leaving  many voids. It has made me think a lot about Life and Death and the fear of losing what I love.

I have written about this before, with other quotes and in other words, but I need to remind myself over and over again: we must not concentrate on the feeling that somebody has been taken away from us, but instead celebrate the fact we were blessed with the friendship and love of this wonderful person. Let us remember all the moments of light, laughter, care, and affection that we shared with him or her.

Instead of feeling deprived, we should be so very grateful.