The Need of Silence

AA: Du berör något som jag anser är tabu i vårt samhälle. I det offentliga rummet blir jag dagligen översköljd av oljud som jag tvingas acceptera för att om jag inte gör det så är jag en gnällig gubbe.

The Need of Silence

Since then*, silence does not leave me. I’d say it waits for me. It is true that I live alone, with a solitary job, in a depopulated village. But office employees who have families, who live in the big cities and go home by train can hear it too. In the evening, when the city has calmed down, when their children are in bed, and when sleep doesn’t come, it is delivered to them confidentially. The worries of that day or of the next one might well occupy their minds - they are free to remember that silence awaits them. 

Christian Combaz: Éloge de l’age 

*(Experiencing a moment of deep silence as a child at a funfair)

I cannot remember a specific moment when I discovered Silence as a child; instead the need for it grew slowly but steadily underneath the surface until at a certain point I got enough of all the hustle and bustle of city life and retired into another "depopulated village”. It might sound strange, but I feel that this growing need for silence is preparing me for old age. Like Combaz says: "Old age marks the reunion of each man with silence."

Our modern society stuffs us with a lot of unnecessary noise and activities to prevent us from living fully, from finding out what our lives are about, how we most deeply want to live them and why we are here. These questions can only be answered in silence, when we have turned inward and our minds have fallen quiet.

I don’t know about you, but the older I get, the more I need silence. There is an urge to get to know myself fully and by that, the condition of Man. Once death comes, I want to meet it as the natural fulfilment of a consciously lived life and with a peaceful mind, opened up in silence. 

Effortlessness

AA wrote: För att inte nämna min nyfikenhet på dina veckobrev. Varje måndag känns som om tomten skall komma.

Effortlessness

Effortlessness is the key to success. Don’t fight. Don’t try hard.

                                                                 Thich Nhat Hanh

Our society is based on the “will principle”: whatever we want we can get, as long as we work hard enough for it. There is, of course, some truth in that: without hard work we will not achieve very much. 

But there’s another aspect of it. Sometimes we just decide - mainly with our heads - that we want or need to reach something. We struggle hard to get there, and there’s not much joy in the process. Once we’ve reached our goal we may even realise that that was not what we really wanted deep inside.

We have to listen to our hearts and to our gut feeling when deciding what to invest our energy in. When we find something that we’re really interested in, with our heart and with our soul, we gladly invest lots of time and energy in it - and the work flows with joyful effortlessness, without us trying very hard. It’s like when I “study” Botany: I find interesting plants, I learn their names in different languages and see what other plants they’re related to, and without any effort I broaden my knowledge a lot, enjoying every second of it!

A Strong Tree in the Storm

AA wrote: Visst är det skönt att kunna fina egen styrka i sig själv. Men det utesluter ju inte att man kan få ett ännu större välbefinnande om man kan finna en trygg plats i samvaro med med någon annan om det känns motigt. Själv minns jag med glädje de gångerna då jag av någon anledning hade upplevt någon motgång då jag kom hem till föräldrahemmet. Pappa befann sig i teverummet och lyssnade på nyheterna, medan mamma stökade i köket. Det var så tryggt i denna enformiga kontinuitet att veta att vad som än sker så finns det något inte tiden rår på

A Strong Tree in the Storm

Picture a tree in a storm. At the top of the tree, the small branches and leaves are swaying violently in the wind. The tree looks vulnerable, quite fragile – it seems it can break at any time.  But if you look at the trunk, you will see that the tree is solid: and if you look down to its root structure, you will know that the tree is deeply and firmly rooted in the soil. The tree is quite strong. It can resist the storm. 

We are also a kind of tree. Our trunk, our centre, is just below our navel. The zones of our thinking and our emotions are at the levels of our head and chest. When we are taken hold of by a strong emotion, like despair, fear anger or jealousy, we should do our best to leave the zone of the storm and go down to the valley to practice breathing in and out. If we stay in the winds of the storm, it may be too dangerous. We can go for refuge into the trunk breathing in and out, aware of the rising and falling of our abdomen. 

                                                  Thich Nhat Hanh: Touching Peace

This is one of the best and most helpful teachings I know. I’m reading it often, to anchor it in my consciousness so that whenever a strong emotion takes hold of me, there’s a chance that I remember the image of the strong tree… 

When emotions get strong and a storm is rising, instead of becoming desperate, forgetting to breathe, or overreacting, I go down to the centre of my body and simply follow my breath. It doesn’t take very long before the storm has passed and my tree stands calm and tall again.

The Habit of Hurrying

AA wrote: Som jag känner igen mig! Men även jag har ändrat mig. Mest noterbart är det när jag äter. Efter måltiden vet jag vad jag ätit och hur det smakade - tänk att det inte alltid varit så!!

The Habit of Hurrying

Suppose you have the habit of getting into a hurried state while doing such things as shopping or cooking. With mindfulness you recognise that you are rushing around and knocking things over, trying to finish quickly. Then you realise that the energy of being in a hurry has manifested itself. So you breathe in and out mindfully, and you say, “My dear habit energy, here you are again”. And as soon as you recognise it, it will lord its strength. 

If the energy comes back again, you do this again, and it will continue to lose its strength. You don’t have to fight the energy, just recognise it and smile at it. Every time you recognise it, it becomes a little bit weaker, until eventually it can’t control you anymore. 

Thich Nhat Hanh: Answers From the Heart

For as long as I remember, I have been a hurrying person. Yes, I got a lot of things done, but at what price? “Knocking things over”, becoming restless and impatient and even stressed out. 

What is the meaning of rushing around and doing many things in a hurry, when you’re not really THERE for them? Being in a hurry most often means that your mind  is also in a hurry: it's one step ahead, thinking of the next task on the list.

When I got in touch with Buddhism and started learning about doing things with mindfulness and living in the Here and Now, things slowly started to change.  However, my habit energy was very strong and I still sometimes fall back into the old rhythm, but nowadays I often notice it. Then I relax, drop my shoulders, and smile at my habit energy. And yes,the habit energy gets a little weaker every time :-)