No Meaningless Moments

AA says: Lovely ... I remember this one from the book by Kingma, and i loved it even more with your touch!

BB says: Det är så sant som du skriver eller citerar, men det känns också tungt ansvar när man läser. Man kan ju inte vara medveten i varje sekund med hur man ser ut, hur man ser på någon etc – det känns faktiskt rätt jobbigt om det är så här det är. Eller vad säger du?

No Meaningless Moments

Every interaction in a relationship leads either towards or away from intimacy. No behaviour is neutral. With everything you do and say, with the texture and intention of every word, action, or gesture, you are every so delicately sculpting the structure of your relationship. The tone of voice invites our partner closer or, imperceptibly, encourages her to move away. The way you look or don’t look at him when he speaks or when you are making love will draw you deeper into the bond of love or encourage the gradual dissolution of that bond. 

                                  Daphne Rose Kingma: A Garland of Love

All too often, we are careless in our interaction with others, especially with the person that are the closest to us. We neglect them in subtle ways, taking them and their love for granted. Sometimes we even treat strangers with more attention than our partners or children. 

Our close ones are the most important people in our lives, and we should treat them that way: with great respect, care and loving attention. Everybody has bad days, but then at least we should tell our loved ones, so they know it’s us, and not them… ;-)

Deep Listening

AA wrote: I am very struck by the below and support it very much.... as a coach this is very much the basic of what a good coach should do.
I thank you very much for the weekly mails as they function as an enlightment to me! So, please keep on doing this!! 

Deep Listening

You listen deeply for only one purpose – to allow the other person to empty his or her heart. This is already an act of relieving suffering.

                                                                 Thich Nhat Hanh: Creating True Peace

When a person close to you is in distress you sometimes feel very helpless. You search and search for something you can do to help. We want to alleviate the suffering of others by doing things, because that’s so hands on. 

Well, most often you don’t need to do very much: just let him or her talk about it, and be there for that person one hundred percent. Do you best to listen deeply with no agenda of your own. Don’t judge, argue, or come with your own thoughts or reactions.  Just open your heart, be silent and listen. 

It might make us feel uneasy not to act, but deep listening is one of the most important and helpful things we can do for someone who is suffering.