Go For It

AA wrote: Danke, Sabina! Danke!!!!

BB wrote: Ganz herzlichen Glückwunsch, du hast es geschafft! :-)

Go For It

Once you make a decision the universe conspires to make it happen.

                                 Ralph Waldo Emerson

Finding our own path is not easy. It is essential to be aware of our dream, and try to go in its direction. Very often we hesitate, not daring to give it a go wholeheartedly. "Perhaps I put my goals too high..?" Well, perhaps you are too afraid to fail. 

Here’s the good news: there is no failing. Even if things don’t work out the way we hoped for, at least we have tried. Maybe something else comes out of it, something different from what we originally strived for, or something unexpected that indicates a different direction…?

Start small. Get to know your dream and take care of it. Make a list of tiny steps that you can take in its direction - and dare to take them. Ralph Waldo Emerson is right:  once you make your decision the universe conspires to help you. I am a living proof of it! J

Dealing With Discomfort

AA wrote: Oh lord, could you have sent a more perfect posting? Thank you!

BB wrote: Oftast så läser jag veckans visdom på måndagen, när veckan börjar, och jag är på väg (för det mesta till Sverige). Det gör mig alltid lite klokare, mer balanserad och nyanserad till mig själv och min omvärld. 

Ett väldigt bra sätt att börja veckan helt enkelt. 

Jag ville alltså bara berätta att du och det du skriver betyder mycket för mig!

Dealing With Discomfort 

 

Instead of trying to avoid the discomfort, you open yourself completely to it. You become receptive to the painful sensation without dwelling on the story your mind has concocted.

   Pema Chödrön: Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change

We all feel discomfort now and then, be it the pain of aggression, grieving, loss, irritation, resentment, jealousy, indigestion, or physical pain. If we look closer at it, we will notice that behind the pain there is always something we’re holding on to.

The challenge in an uncomfortable situation is not to dwell on the story, not to pity ourselves or make a drama out of it. 

If we try to open ourselves completely to the discomfort itself and drop the storyline we will notice a shift. The discomfort will feel less uncomfortable.  We will be left with the irritation, physical pain or anger, but not getting all worked up about it. 

Just as all things pass, the discomfort fades away when we don’t stick to it with our thoughts. As Saint Teresa of Avila put it: “Pain is never permanent”

Constant Comparisons

AA wrote:da hast Du so recht! Wie Du habe ich mir vorgenommen, diesen Fehler bei meinen Kindern nicht zu machen, was mir so einigermaßen gelingt. Das hoffe ich zumindest! Ich sage immer "Jeder hat Stärken und Schwächen, jeder kann irgendetwas ganz toll und auch etwas gar nicht. Und das ist überhaupt kein Drama, sonder muss sogar so sein." 

BB wrote: Yes, indeed! My kids keep telling me stuff like you draw better, Anna does this better, Ben does that better...it is hard to keep them focused on themselves or to simply appreciate the abilities of the other children without feeling bad. I carry that burden as well and have to work daily to keep it quiet. Thank you for reminding me to stay in the here, the now and with me and leave jealousy outside.

CC wrote: Ich habe meine Kinder auch nicht miteinander verglichen, aber unsere Tochter hat sich doch immer mit ihren Brüdern verglichen. Sie war die jüngste mit großem Abstand und konnte einfach nicht mithalten. Das war so und es war offensichtlich. Sie hat es als schlecht empfunden, als würde ihre eine Kompetenz fehlen und den Frust musste sie aushalten. Da half alles gute Zureden nicht.

Schade, aber man kann seine Kinder vor solchen Erlebnissen und Gefühlen nicht schützen... ist meine Erfahrung.

Constant Comparisons

When people see some things as beautiful,
other things become ugly.
When people see some things as good,
other things become bad.
            Lao Tzu: Tao Te Ching

As a child I was often confronted with comparisons and already then I strongly disliked them. Just because my brother was mechanically very skilled it didn’t mean that I was a mechanical analphabet...! I promised myself to do my best not to compare my own children with each other, and I think I succeeded fairly well.  

Comparing people is a kind of violence against their true nature, and in any situation I try to avoid it. It is such a negative habit, praising some people at the cost of others. One person’s special blend of characteristics and capacities simply cannot and should not be compared to anybody else’s. 

Everyone of us is unique - that’s what makes humanity so utterly fascinating. 

Happiness is a State of Mind

AA wrote:Jag är dålig på att tacka dig för dessa fina mejl som jag läser varje måndagsmorgon när jag kommer till jobbet. Det ger positiv kraft att tänka på det du skriver. Så tack för att du tar dig tid till detta och delar med dig. J J
BB wrote: Danke dafür!
CC wrote: Merci pour ce rappel toujours utile. 😉Belle semaine!

Happiness is a State of Mind

Happiness is a state of mind and has nothing to do with the external world.

                                                                 From the Bhagavad Gita

Far too often we make external circumstances accountable for our state of mind. We are grumpy because the weather is “bad”, because our spouse woke us up at night, because there’s a hole in our favourite sweater, or simply because it’s Monday. We do it because it’s easy and because it has become a habit to search for mood reasons outside of ourselves.

However, deep inside we know that outer circumstances don’t have to bring us down and that we ourselves decide upon how we feel. That just demands a little effort: switch over to your inner life and check out its status. Is there a center of not-being-happy-with-the-world-as-it-is? Well, drop the complaints. 

Decide to brighten up your life and enjoy it. Get in touch with the happiness and love you feel for yourself, for others and for life in general. Feel the blissful warmth inside. Smile to your Monday, to the weather - whatever it is - and if you can’t mend the hole in your sweater, I’m a master at it ;-)