Arguing With the One You Love

AA wrote: We all need to know this!! Thank you! 

BB wrote: Magnifique message. Merci!

CC wrote: Beautiful and so wise just like you are...

Arguing With the One You Love

When you get into an argument with the one you love, please close your eyes and visualize yourself three hundred years from now. When you open your eyes, you will only want to take each other in your arms and acknowledge how precious each of you is.

                                Thich Nhat Hanh: The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching

However well you get along with your partner, siblings, children, or friends, there are moments when you disagree on one thing or the other. Suddenly your voice rises, your heartbeat increases and anger enflames your mind. It is not a nice place to be in – for neither one of you. The worst thing is that you may say things you regret later, things that may even leave lasting traces with the one you love. More often than not, these arguments are about ridiculous details, certainly not worthwhile getting unfriendly about.

Thich Nhat Hanh’s advice can change the whole situation. When you catch yourself diving into an argument, try to remember to STOP, even if it’s in the middle of a sentence.  Close your eyes and imagine a time faraway in the future, when your loved one is not alive anymore. You will realize how sad it is to argue now, knowing how precious the time is that you spend together.

Instead of continuing the argument tell your loved one just that: how important he or she is to you and that it’s silly to argue when all you really want to do is to enjoy his or her company and your wonderful friendship.

Spring Cleaning

AA said: Very inspiring. I feel like I want to skip work and go home and sort out.

BB said: Så sant så sant, men oj, det finns en hel del att göra i min garderob J

Spring Cleaning

Thank God for the things that I do not own.

                                   Teresa of Ávila

You might have done it weeks ago, but I only just stored my winter clothes and brought forth the ones for summer. A wonderful moment, full of rediscoveries and anticipation of warmer days!

However, again I realize that I have far too much clothes. I hate it when my wardrobe is cracking full and I cannot see one thing for the other. This means that I won’t wear many of the items more than once or twice – or not at all. 

In sorting out the rule of thumb is What you haven’t worn for a year goes out.  So I try to remember last summer and yes, this lovely shirt I inherited (but which not really is “my” colour) goes out. Those blue jeans, which don’t really fit me anymore, as well. 

Afterwards it feels so liberating to look into the freshly cleaned and airy wardrobe – and at the pile of clothes leaving my house. With a happy sigh I say, just like Saint Teresa, Thank God for the things that I do not own (anymore).

PS The clothes that leave don’t go into the bin: if friends or family don’t want them, they’re brought to one of the charity organisations in the city. Reduce, Reuse & Recycle!

The Roots of Judgements

AA said: Wow, on spot as always.

BB said: Thank you, thinking like this will create a lot of awareness...

The Roots of Judgments

Behind each judgment, there is an emotion, a frustration, a wound and /or a need.
                                                                Isabelle Filliozat

One of man’s worst habits is to constantly judge others. Why do we keep on doing that? Maybe because we’re insecure and judging others makes us feel stronger, better, or more worthy? Maybe there’s an old wound or an unfulfilled need that we avoid to deal with and that makes us want to belittle others?

We should look at the roots of this bad habit and face our frustrations, wounds or needs. Deep within us we know that every negative feeling against somebody else stems from our own shortcomings. 

This week, if you catch yourself judging somebody, take a step back to find out why you react like that to change the habit, and realise that everybody is an equally important part of humanity. 

Be Better Than Yourself

AA wrote: Alors fais-toi plaisir et lance-toi dans l'aquarelle ma chère Sabina!!

BB wrote: I can't wait to see the drawings! I already know it will have your beauty.

CC wrote: Underbart Sabina! Gör det, så trist att vi nästan alla hålls tillbaka av höga krav.

Be Better Than Yourself

Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Do not bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.
William Faulkner

We all have things we’d like to be able to do, don’t we? I’d love having wings and fly up above the mountains and being able to make lovely water colour paintings. Obviously I have to content myself with flying in my dreams, but painting is not completely out of reach.

In fact I have a certain aptitude for drawing; art was my favourite subject at school. Alas, my inner critic, who is exceptionally strong, even prevents me from trying. I’m still afraid of not being satisfied with the result - at my age! I should have learned to ignore that silly voice and continue just do what I enjoy so much: playing with colours. 

That’s where the above quote comes in. I need to stop comparing what I do with beautiful things I’ve seen or ideals I have. My “masterpieces” will never meet those standards, and why should they?  If I just have to have a go at it I am sure that with practice some nice little paintings will see the daylight.

So thank you, William, for your piece of advice. I will take out my crayons and colours and start drawing again. With time I will surely become be better than myself :-)