Your Inner Child

AA wrote: Hahaha :) please don't go crazy ... Love this exercise!

Your Inner Child

We can go home to ourselves and talk to our (inner) little child, listen to our child, and respond directly to him. The child is still there, and may be deeply wounded. We have to come back and comfort, love, and care for the child within us. 

Thich Nhat Hanh: Reconciliation

Sometimes other people seem so intelligent, successful, or brave. It’s like they make us shrink. Luckily we know that there is nothing we need to show off or prove to anybody: we are perfectly fine the way we are. We just have to be ourselves! 

Now, we know that very well, but perhaps our Inner Child doesn’t… The little child we once were might not have felt that she was seen or loved. He might not have felt he was taken seriously and really listened to.  It’s a very good practice to regularly go back and take care of your Inner Child. You might want to write a little letter to him, or take her out for a walk and show her our world. Talk to him, and listen to what he has to say. Give her support and tenderness and build up her self-esteem.  

I enjoy this practice very much; it makes me feel whole in a wonderful way. I just have to watch out that I only talk to the little Sabina in my head, so the villagers don’t think I’m going crazy ;-)

Peace & Harmony

Peace & Harmony

You can naturally stop your thoughts if you focus your attention fully on your in-breath and your out-breath. After one or two minutes of practice, the quality of your in-breath and your out-breath will improve. Your breath will become deeper, slower, and more harmonious and peaceful, whether you are lying down, sitting, or walking. By practicing mindful breathing, we bring the elements of harmony and peace into our body.  
                                                                 Thich Nhat Hanh: Keeping the Peace

Bringing peace and harmony into our lives and into our world is not just a process of thought and action, but also of simply embodying peace and harmony. 

If we practice mindful breathing, we are spreading calm and peace on a tangible level, to the benefit of ourselves and everybody around us.

Try to make regular stops during your busy day to breathe mindfully; for example every time the phone rings, or when you skip the elevator and walk up & down stairs. 

Notice how you relax and become peaceful, and how a little smile spreads on your face :-)

Respond with Kindness

AA wrote: Oui, tu as mille fois raison, ne pas réagir à chaud, attendre que son égo ne soit plus blessé… C’est parfois difficile mais on peut toujours pardonner et comme tu le suggères, approcher la personne et en parler.

BB wrote: This is perfect!

Respond with Kindness

Try responding only when your heart is open and kind. When you don’t feel this way, wait and let the difficult feeling pass.

                                                                 Jack Kornfield: A Path With Heart

People often talk without reflecting, and sometimes they say things that hurt us. Then our ego immediately reacts; we get all upset and want to blurt out a harsh answer. 

Thats the point where we should remember to STOP. What’s the use of escalating things? Words are like a little wind blowing outside our window; we don’t have to take them so seriously. We know who we are, words don’t change that. If there is any real truth hidden behind the hurting remark or if it really needs a response, we should wait until we’re not upset anymore. 

With an open heart we can approach the other person calmly, tell her how her remark hurt us and ask her why she said it. That might even be the beginning of a fruitful dialogue.

Total Freedom

AA wrote: Nice food for thought!

Total Freedom 

Love is the antithesis of ownership, dominance, and oppression. Therefore you will know you are in its presence when you feel yourself able to be most wonderfully all that you are.  ---True love grants absolute freedom, the freedom to be ever engaged in the process of your own becoming. 

Daphne Rose Kingma: A Garland of Love

Sometimes we are stuck in relationships where there’s a lot of struggle. We are unable to express ourselves properly, and/or our partner does not seem to understand us. It’s like a cogwheel that does not turn properly because it lacks oil. The oil is true, selfless love. 

Far too many relationships are based on ownership, dominance and oppression - sometimes very obvious, sometimes more subtle. In such a relationship there’s no real freedom: you cannot express your innermost essence, and you don’t feel you can grow in the ways that you yourself (and not your partner) need.

If we feel uneasy in a relationship, we should question it and see if we really feel free to develop and grow. If not, we have to take the consequences: continue being a small version of ourselves, or leave it and grow, to become our true selves.

A Love Letter

AA wrote: Hey Sabina, thank you for the inspiration, I am following that idea. 

BB wrote: I really liked the message about "love letters" and I totally agree that it warms your heart to receive one - so now I will write one :-)

A Love Letter

A real love letter is made of insight, understanding, and compassion. Otherwise it’s not a love letter. A true love letter can produce a transformation in the other person, and therefore in the world. 

Thich Nhath Hanh: Reconciliation

When did you write your latest love letter? Maybe you never did, maybe just the thought of it seems difficult or even ridiculous.

A true love letter is not “romantic nonsense”, but a warm and open letter, filled with heartfelt care and understanding. It’s a letter you write to somebody who means a lot to you, and whom you want to tell just that. It may also be a letter dealing with an inconvenient truth, or an unsolved “issue”. An issue that you have not dared to talk about with a dear person, but that - if handled with insight, understanding, and compassion  - can restore your friendship and help her grow.

Imagine you’d receive a real love letter - from your partner, your parent, your child or a good friend. Wouldn’t it be very special and fill your heart with gratitude to have someone in your life who cared enough about you to write such a letter? 

I will sit down today, and write a love letter to someone close to me. Perhaps some of you will do that too…?