Loosen the Grip of Self

Here the reactions on the Loosen the Grip of Self* newsletter :-)

AA wrote:

"I like today`s post.

Thank you – makes me really think, do I listen properly or do I listen to answer?

Very good food for thought and for soul."

BB wrote: 

The times when I can forget about my ‘self’ is when I’m in a beautiful place somewhere – in the forest, by a lake or gazing out on the horison of the sea. I feel so much a part of nature then. Other times I’ve experienced being ‘out of my self’ is when I’ve been in love. There’s nothing like a passionate love-affair to forget one self!

More: When I’m dancing to rythmic music. I don’t move to the music. The music moves me! ‘Self’ is gone!

On the other hand. When I’m too much in the centre with a lot of eyes on me, I can become too self-conscious. This can make me shy, even though I’m really not a shy person!

*Loosen the Grip of Self

“When we don’t see the self as self

What do we have to fear?”

                                                                 Tao Te Ching

We are all too involved with our Selves: what I say or do is the centre of the world! Anything that goes against it must be a threat, and anybody who dares to question it an enemy. We constantly feel our Precious Self endangered. This makes us defending ourselves all the time.

What if we relaxed into having a looser notion of the Self: I am just a small part of something infinitely big, and even if I can make a change and even if what I say or do is important, I’m not the centre of the universe.

If we can loosen the grip around our Selves we can much easier open up to others and real communication and understanding can take place.

So how can we loosen the notion of Self? By not taking ourselves and our points of view so seriously. By stepping back and listening properly to others. By not reacting to every negative word that we feel could be direct towards us. Do you have more examples?

Try to observe the times you are too focused on your own standpoint, without really listening to the other. Even before he/she finishes speaking you’ve already formed an answer in your head! Stop the inner chatter, and listen. Drop your reactions to what the other is saying.

Reactions and older newsletters at http://thelittlehappynet.blogspot.ch/

Have a good week! J

The Happiness Network