Arguing With the One You Love

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CC wrote: Beautiful and so wise just like you are...

Arguing With the One You Love

When you get into an argument with the one you love, please close your eyes and visualize yourself three hundred years from now. When you open your eyes, you will only want to take each other in your arms and acknowledge how precious each of you is.

                                Thich Nhat Hanh: The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching

However well you get along with your partner, siblings, children, or friends, there are moments when you disagree on one thing or the other. Suddenly your voice rises, your heartbeat increases and anger enflames your mind. It is not a nice place to be in – for neither one of you. The worst thing is that you may say things you regret later, things that may even leave lasting traces with the one you love. More often than not, these arguments are about ridiculous details, certainly not worthwhile getting unfriendly about.

Thich Nhat Hanh’s advice can change the whole situation. When you catch yourself diving into an argument, try to remember to STOP, even if it’s in the middle of a sentence.  Close your eyes and imagine a time faraway in the future, when your loved one is not alive anymore. You will realize how sad it is to argue now, knowing how precious the time is that you spend together.

Instead of continuing the argument tell your loved one just that: how important he or she is to you and that it’s silly to argue when all you really want to do is to enjoy his or her company and your wonderful friendship.